The Christmas season is also the time when families are together anymore. It is also the time that many men choose to introduce the new girlfriend to his mother.
See this poor street all decorated with bows, fresh hair and with the ubiquitous poinsettia in hand, his face full of hope.
My dear, if you think of trading a plant with a child, forget it. You
of intruders, and that's it. You just have to hope that the mother could not wait to shake the kid in my back. In that case would still be of intruders, but no one will ever hurt you for fear that the parcel is returned to sender.
Halt! But stop. I'm not going to fire on the Italian national monument: the mother. God forbid. A thousand blessings to all the mothers of the world. Except that sometimes it's the combination that does not work. That particular mothers with special sons, I mean.
Obviously they see as the best combination possible, but everyone else is left of Krakatoa.
My ex-emplari so far described have several things in common. I can think of three: me, this blog and not a mother. My first
protosuocera - so call the mother of my ex, that never become real in-law, for Fortunately - it was a trauma. But not wishing me a favor: he has prepared for the worst, and after her, I never feared anyone or anything.
protosuocera The first question that I did after the pleasantries was "what is your job and how much you earn." Let
well. For a moment I feared that I would have asked if I had calculated what I would take a pension.
Whenever I had a discussion and son, summoning me to court and I was giving a lesson on how to make a man feel comfortable. Too bad that she had left her soon after marriage.
Mother and son together, my eyes were revolting. It pecked, he turns around and kissing like two sweethearts.
Once he and I were on the phone engaged in a sterile debate night. I was just telling him badly that his relationship with his mother seemed morbid and stifling. And he retorted:
"What do you mean, how dare you, I'm an adult and independent!"
Then he heard a sleepy voice behind a babbling stuff like "Cicco, do not get mad."
For a moment I hoped that he was in bed with a lover. But no.
Cicco put his hand in front of the receiver and whispered: "Do not worry Mum, now sleep."
The man slept in Latvian and independent adult with mom!
mammome One evening he invited me to dinner to celebrate a very important professional goal. He was beaming and it was not complacent. I do it to him and in the meantime let me dedicate a magnificent lobster imperial joy.
At one point he stopped, looked at me with pathos and said with a wink:
"Now I'm missing one thing to feel really accomplished."
Oh no, I thought, if it pulls out the ring I've got all fingers that taste of lobster! But
announced: "I just have to buy a fur coat for my mother."
At first I felt some relief for the failure to propose that I would not really know what to say. Then I rewind.
"A fur for your mother?"
"Yes, a mink, long". The
vongolone had the voice that trembling.
"But, sorry ... in what sense?"
"Why such a fur coat is a symbol."
"But of what?"
"Like what? Of the fact that you got something out of life. And my mother deserves it."
"I do not doubt it. And the fact that my mother has a fur mouse ... is a symbol of what?"
"Are you stupid."
"Excuse me, but because their fur? Why not a cruise or do a Cartier watch? The furs are out now. Maybe it was a status in the 80's. But now he just puts them off for the Ripa di Meana in front of everyone and show that under she is naked. "
"You have spoken well. They were a status in the 80's. And my father left my mother 81. This does not tell you anything? "The
mammozzo now seemed almost dangerous with that little trickle of drool at the mouth.
" Ok, ok. Buy Mink'm your mama. "
decided to shut up because I realized that at dinner there were three: me, Cicco and Oedipus. But luckily there was still half lobster in the pot that made me winking.
Later I and the ex-emplare we parted. He took a bit 'evil, indeed a lot. But I prepared myself to enjoy a new life as my phone rang.
was the mother of Oedipus! invited me to dinner that evening a "conversation between women, not men in their feet."
I accepted and went to his house, wondering if I could see the noose very throat. Damn good education. The now ex
protosuocera was friendly and polite than he had ever been. Throughout the dinner, insisted that drank wine, beer, champagne. And I kept saying that they are sober. At the end of the way for levarmela accepted a glass of limoncello. Double check that the empty and then stood in front of me kind judge for preliminary investigations.
"Come on, now that we're friends you can tell me, did you know another?"
friends? But who knows?
"No, ma'am, just me and her son did not agree"
"Yeah okay, I understand some things.'re Already with him?"
Message not received.
"No ma'am. Not I left him for another. E'che not .. "
" You think it's stupid? Mica you let someone like my son, with his position, to stand alone. Who is, come on, your colleague? "
" But madam, for heaven's sake .. "
While she is drawing ever nearer, like the hag Goonies, I heard a slight noise behind me. I jumped up and asked" What was that? ".
The mad had the face of Bernardo Provenzano. A sphinx.
" I have not heard anything. "
" But I will. "
left the kitchen, just in time to see a shadow slipped into the bathroom and closed the door.
Holy saints. These two were a criminal. While his mother tried to get me Drinking and then confess, Ciccio was behind the door to eavesdrop.
And if indeed I had another and I had said? What would they do? I would have cut into pieces and put in the freezer next to the Findus sticks?
I escaped from the house, saying only, "you must be healed."
While I was in the elevator I could hear the Mephistophelean shouting "I want to see where you find someone like my son with his posizioneeeeee One."
Yes, the position of the koala.
Today this former emplare still lives with his mother. I saw them not long ago who were walking arm in arm, laughing and joking. She wore a long mink coat, in perfect 80's. Indeed 81.
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