A person who follows my blog asked me: "But one with the money you've never met?"
Obviously yes, but it was the wrong one.
And not for the history of money does not buy love, as teach us Flavio Briatore and his wife. No. The problem was another.
This guy wanted his money with us exclusively that he wanted.
E 'right? But how is that fair? So where is the deal, excuse me?
You start with a wallet with a man around, and that acts as a regulator gone mad, which is always in the wrong direction.
No, no. Defective item to be returned immediately. I bought
absurd things that had nothing to do with my taste.
stuff with feathers, sequins, lace.
I thought maybe he was looking for a transvestite. But then passed to phase bows, ribbons and laces, and I am confused ideas.
Once appeared with all the boots Fendi studded with zero heel and furry red overflowing.
"But still, even with these things seem Claudia Schiffer un'esquimese hump.
What makes you think that my calf to the heel gifts close to the ground and the fur of murdered squirrel! A simple pair of boots blacks, heel twelve - that I need it - no? "
The thing that made me angry the most was that with that amount I would have redone the wardrobe.
I put those boots only once, to go to the office, hoping to go unnoticed.
Illus.
"This morning we go to hunt whales?"
"Can you get on a chair or you take in your arm? "
" What did you put two socks in the chinchilla?
Arrrgh!
had done so, decided what he wanted for me, if I was OK, ok, or nothing.
One day I accompanied her to the hairdresser. While the chopped, former emplare leafed through a catalog with some models superatomiche. At one point he gets up and comes to us with his face possessed.
"Let me like that!" Says my hairdresser.
"You talk about me? And that is a pizza? "The frantic
indicated a model with Titian red hair streaked with strands of gold, in the sense that the basis of his hair were woven with gold thread.
To my hairdresser did my eyes like this: $ $.
"Well! This hairstyle is very demanding and expensive, it will take a long time ... "But I intervened in a slip
" Go and sit down please. Valerio you do the usual. We should not go to Oscar Night. "
" But I like it! "
" Look, if you could see the likes of ... "
" We do not see anything! You have them put you hair to Wonder Woman! "
He gave up and sat down again dreaming of models with hair from one hundred euro each.
At the end guess who paid the hairdresser? Another
Once the ex-emplare came to fetch in the pool with that glowing dangerously.
"I want to make a nice gift!"
"But it is not necessary ..." I did not want to do
compliments, I had already learned.
It dragged me in the studio most ancient, expensive and pretentious city.
And when I say "dragged" I do not use a euphemism.
I tried to stick to the light pole, a telephone booth, a lady with a stroller. But nothing doing.
I tried a last stand of clinging to the closed door, but suddenly gave way and opening up right at the heart of the studio.
All this under the impassive gaze of two caryatids put there to serve the customers.
"Please lady, please sit down"
gaze of one of them succumbed to a moment at the sight of my clothing.
I come from the pool, madame, not the beauty contest for poodles. A
taken over my black bomber, holding it like a dead rat, the other in the order began to pull on a candy pink coat, a coat and a blue jacket, yellow angel paradise.
I did not understand what he had to watch that ebony with that passionate. I just saw in the mirror like a Troll disguised as candy.
If I put one of those leaders in my closet with my clothes probably would have taken a beating. Bullying textiles.
I was miserable. That idiot could not pay me something more useful with all that money? I know, the card for the swimming pool, car insurance, a new capsule to the grind!
Meanwhile, one of two mummies orange lipstick had invaded his teeth and dangerously threatened chin and nose. The other the eyelashes hanging from the lids about to become unstuck.
Yuck. I smutandate orders of Benetton!
the end the one with the drooping lashes I put on a cloak of gold brocade, green and turquoise, which cost as a moped.
"Mamma mia, I look like the grandmother of Ali Baba "
The old way I felt angry and reported that monument that was standing by myself.
"There we go from here?! At Sisley balances are crazy! "
" That stuff you can buy the well alone. "
now agree with me that the deal was not there?
finish with this episode and tell me if I was wrong.
Easter.
knock on the door, and I'm going to open a chocolate egg as tall as me, wrapped in transparent cellophane. In front a huge heart and the words "I love you." What
romantic? Wait a minute.
Yo, I will have it repeated hundreds of times I like that one type of chocolate.
Lindt milk. At best, with hazelnuts. Stop. Quick and easy.
then this figure does not cost, is everywhere, even in the butcher in the form of all: tablet, pellets, egg, rabbit, chicken, and maybe even Santa Claus Berlusconi.
EU, the egg of a dinosaur was not dark chocolate?
Good grief and anger!
cell phone rang. It's him.
Ok, check.
"Have you received the gift"
"Oh yes, thank you, I had to leave home to let us in."
control.
"See how nice? I know you do not like, but this workshop is just chocolate flux. I went there on purpose because I was told that the measure makes the eggs you want.
I requested a high and heavy as much as you. "
But cute. A twin egg. Control.
"I understand. And ... a ovettino Lindt milk is not it? "
" Come on! Lindt, does not do these things in great. "
" Yeah. And have you any idea what I'm supposed to make us now with this meteorite? "
" Eh, I do not know, I melt into the milk in the morning. "
" Sure, I've got for me at breakfast the national soccer team. "
" I hope not. However, what is the problem? Do not eat it, keep it as is, for beauty. "
" Right. Now I pay the rent for a studio as well, egg. "
"Are you nervous?"
"No. I'm pissed off, because you threw a figure equal to my salary to buy something I knew I would not like just because you like it! Now to return to this vienitelo frittatone and never buy anything! Why buy anything you do not know. Deliver money here and there like the lottery Italy, without a logical order! If I say I'm hungry buy me a shoe polish, if I say I am cold, buy me some ointment for hemorrhoids, "said
We did not have" control "? Oh well.
I closed the phone and looked at the monster.
I hoped to make my by surprise.
I tried to move from the entrance, but without success.
"Man, I so much weight!?"
I removed the cellophane and went to take a hammer.
I climbed on a chair and ... sbam! sbam! sbam! At the third
hammered gigantuovo broke into two.
One half fell on the shattered ceramic umbrella stand. The other half is
havoc on a plant already dying, printing it on the floor.
From this disaster came out the worst toy I have ever seen in my life. Color
carrot, bunny ears, nose to snout, paws goat and no trace of eyes.
The chocolate contained an alien invader.
In conclusion, I say that a man with money is like an aspirin, serving more and not hurt.
But a man who can not use their own money is like a traffic cop: most of the time useless and dangerous when it starts operating.
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