1996 Dutchman Pop Up Camper L

gaze of Lazarus Passion and emotion

It 's like when you play hide and seek as children. You hide. You get small. And wait. And there is none. At first you are happy. You rejoice. You were smart. You will not ever. Then you worry. Frighten you. And then you see. Do not try. We have never tried. Go out and find out what they're playing something else. They've also gone. And you're nothing. Forgotten. Do not even look. It was there that I understood. A sign for all my life. Even at the margins. Because there is no dignity. Even recently, the last still has meaning, it gets respect. If anything, next to last. Never mentioned. Just like that A lapping, pale and washed out in the blind field, in the trash. And so I lived. A predestined? Maybe. Maybe by that time I have forced the hand of fate. I dived there instead of trying to escape. The meeting ran, screaming, sword drawn. I did not want to end up like a coward, killed by a blow to the back. Remorse? I do not know. I dare not even question me for fear of not knowing the answer. Whatever is wrong. Error perfect. O the horror? How this chair here, abandoned on the edge of a sidewalk, without a specific purpose. Who knows, maybe yes, is the home of someone more desperate than me. Why is my misery is not external. No, indeed. I made a career: I was so insignificant that I made jelly to slip between the cracks of the system. To expand my weakness to exploit my transparent in order to climb. And suddenly appear in places no one would have believed. And 'I feel empty inside. And 'when I close the my door, which fell back into that hole: I go back into the narrow gorge in which they are gone forever, in that world where no one will ever find me. Why to exit from the tomb, to return to life, we need a voice that calls your name, your name that screams, loud, tell you "come out" and you would expect there with open arms. And this voice I have not heard yet. There is, yes, somewhere there? I can not imagine that many will cheat with such senseless violence. Because you see, the faces saved, to catch the eye called. I see them walking. Indeed, slipping unnoticed into the crowd. Until the day will come, yes, I know, I know that I will. There will come a day when eyes will look for me, will stay on me, not by accident, but by the will. And he will recall.