After a long pause, I'm back with another ex-emplare caught by aquarium staff of a friend of mine. I say "aquarium" is not by chance that I've seen ranked as the "perch".
And I tell you.
My friend, I will call Stefi, at the time had passed for some thirty '. And he was single, but was always well met by the study, culture, work and a good career in the bank. He had some history, but without much luck. His free time is spent among books, friends, exhibitions and cultural events. It seemed so happy. Until it was transferred to Rome.
took home with a colleague, turned all the museums and galleries in the city and enrolled at the gym. But after a while, 'he began to suffer from a terrible loneliness. Not far from friends and family, Stefi felt the whole weight of being single. It opened the hunting season. Indeed, fisheries, because he collected a number of mullet, scorpion fish, eels and shellfish. Discard
here, get there, pull down and spring up ... after about a year of desperate search for the only animal that managed to keep his side was Aristide, security guard, met at the supermarket, which is open even at night.
"Wow, then it is true that in big cities, the supermarket is the best place to pick up?"
"Verissimo. From eight onwards there is a coming and going crazy single running for hours with empty carts. Every now and then shove something cool, so just to see. "
" What's that in his c'aveva? "
" A pack of toilet paper. "
"Ah, very cool."
But every time I asked her to phone for this new love, Stephen was more evasive. Until one day I said: "Stephen, I have the impression that something is wrong with that Aristide, or am I wrong? "
" Well ... no. You are not wrong. It is he, you know, is ... "
What's this?
" Well, not quite the person you can imagine. "
" What does it mean? A gangster, a grandefratellino a Papaboy? "
" Worse. "
" Nothing less! "
" He is in fifth grade, is six years younger than me, do not know Italian, he speaks only Roman, has eight tattoos one of Pamela Anderson, has three piercings in a nail, not a penny, still lives with her and do not have a car. And bring a sweater in his pants. "
" Ah. No more? "
"Yes, when it's cold wear the pants in my socks."
"Ouch. Stefi Sorry, but if you do not like, because we're together? "
" Why is the only one I could find. And to be alone because I'd had enough. What should I do? I started late and now I take what's left. "
" My mother said something similar when he withdrew from the market with that crap of perch. "
" Eh. More or less. "
we're good.
Stefi After two months he could not get over the awkwardness of Aristide and the spring.
He stayed there very badly. Also, that Stephen had become his chauffeur, always paid to the cinema and the restaurant and made a lot of nice gifts. Aristide pleaded with her to get back together, promising that he would become a better person. Stefi if the shooting of a diabolical pact to compromise the Persian would be cultured.
"Good heavens, Stefi! He said he wanted to become a new person, not someone else! "
" I'm tired of a clandestine relationship and can not submit around with a case. Enough for me to learn a little grammar, a minimum of history, and just a touch of art and geography. It is enough. "
" Enough? "
" Look I'm not going to dinners with someone who thinks that Van Gogh is a player of Ajax. "
"I guess, but how must the poor?"
"Night school, Bignamini and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire at full blast."
"Mah Oh well. Good work, Maria Montessori. "
After a month of this therapy serrata, Stefi saw some improvement and decided to bring Aristide to an informal dinner with colleagues.
Things just did not go well. Starting from the presentations.
"Hello, pleasure, Franco"
"Nice, Aristide."
"What, sorry?"
"Aristide. As the great greek philosopher. "
" Nice Aristide "
" Nice, Sveva "
"Ah! Bella Swabia! But how is it that your name? "
" Ah! Here is the Adonis who did lose their heads to our Stefi "
" The what? Sorry but I do not speak English. "
The foundation of Stefi began to leak.
"UA Hahaha! I told you that is a funny guy! "The Persian
looked at the question but Stefi look cool with a triple rotating drill.
And the evening went on. As time passed, the Persian indulged more and more.
"Aristide want to taste my pasty bean blacks?"
"No thanks Franco, beans make me concert. "
" What? "
" Concertino ... I have to like you ', er ar machine gun cul ... "
" TREASURE! What do you got? "
" Na Wiener Schnitzel "
" Milanese "
" And I've said? How to do it here Milanesa, Franco ah? "
" I do not know Aristide, I am a vegetarian. "
" Ah, perfect, just what I need. My cat so 'three days vomiting. What should I do '?
"UHUHUH! Treasury're too strong! "
" But that strong, Stefi ah, er is a cat died! "Kicked the
Stefi under the table and hissed through his teeth "prl mbcll TLN.
"What?"
"No honey,"
"Boh!"
Taking advantage of a moment of distraction general, Stefi's clear the concept: "SPEAK ITALIAN Idiot!"
In a toast to another, the evening did not seem unhappy endless. And the alcohol did not help the efforts of Stephen.
"What job do you say? I know, I've already asked but I forgot. I'm sorry but I returned yesterday from New York and I suffer a lot of jet lag ... "
" Ammappa! And that brings us up to Gnuork'm jet? "
Stefi surrendered. And the laughter stopped making reparation. After several glasses, Aristide was out of control.
"Waiter! Waiter who brings me n'posacenere? "
" Here there is smoke, sir. "
" Nun I smoke, I spit that I had stuck in the butt is er palate. I know the MagNA Pure Milanesa co mbocca'm inflatable! "
Stefi must have implemented an exercise in metempsychosis why did not blink.
A girl tried to distract the general tension as he could.
Sky people ... the other night I was at a gala evening at the Grand Hotel des Princes. A stuff to make your head spin. All bankers and financiers. "
"MBE? I I've got 'na girlfriend and bankers' n cousin financier. And even a policeman. But not me like this. "
The frost fell on the table until Stefi pointed out:" You do not have any girlfriend bankers. You have no girlfriend and that's it. "
Mr. Persichetti shrugged and said:
" Sticazzi. "
Forced to accompany him back home, he yelled Stefi daughters of all colors.
"But what an idiot I am! As I have thought to take you to my friends. That figure that you made me do, you realize? "
" AO, Give na calmed down. But who do you think of them? Er nobbella prize? "
" But you see I'm hick. "
" I will be hick, but you You're old na fracica that if you no longer row. "
Stefi restrained from crime:
" Get out of my car filthy dirty, ignorant , beast, boor of shit! "
" get down get down, and nu 'screamed that you too may fall' to false teeth. "
Moral of the story: a perch you can not pass for white bream Empire.
And if you are over thirty, you're a woman and you're still single ... keep calm and stay away from supermarkets.
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